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[征文作品] 【岁末征文活动】【伤慧贤】

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评分:7.5
理由:
兄台要是能将这篇文章再拓展发挥,写成一篇长篇连载也是可以的,要真成长篇连载,我的分数恐怕就是9.5分了。
其实现在人物的基本框架已经形成,兄台可以继续深入的写,这样情节会更好,人物刻画也会更加细致。
开头一段读起来淡淡的,本以为没什么意思,可到后面觉得听不错的。
文章的缺点是人物有了大概面容,但是刻画不细致,由于故事的未拓展,所以情节也有点打折扣。
综合评分7.5
希望兄台能继续发挥,写成连载文!
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  • feifei777 金币 +30 有效 2009-2-14 11:24

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